I love it when the house is quiet and everyone is asleep.
Even the wind outside has softened and it feels like it’s just me, the moon, and my journal.
Life always feels the safest at this hour, like the world is too tired to throw any curve balls at me.
The night began with sketching again, which started out as just shapes. But without thinking, I started painting the outline of someone I didn’t recognize.
They had a soft face, their eyes were closed like they were praying and cupped between their hands was a soft glowing light.
I think it’s from a dream I had or maybe a feeling I haven’t figured out how to explain, but I don’t like to talk about my art much.
It feels too close and intimate, like if I let someone see it, they’ll also see me and I’m not sure that’s a good idea.
Not because I have something to hide, but because I’ve always been afraid of disappointing the people around me. It’s honestly really embarrassing…
Sometimes I imagine someone looking over my shoulder and saying, “Oh… that’s it?”
So I keep my art close and secret, only Fumiko really has seen my art. He is the only one who doesn’t judge me.
Other people call me to sensitive, or that I’m too quiet, people are just always assuming things about me.
But I don’t think softness is a weakness, I think it’s the best way to survive without becoming hard and harsh. Like adults who take their anger out on their kids because they are angry with themselves.
Sadly my favorite brush is starting to split, and the paint water has grown gray. The piece isn’t finished yet but I’ll leave it that way.
There is beauty in the unfinished and imperfect. I call it honest.
—Rika
✍️ Journaling Prompts:
What part of you have you kept small out of fear of being misunderstood?
🎨 The Parris Post features Rika’s and her family as they go on different adventures life brings them. They learn to face their fears and grow into new people. If you enjoyed reading this little snippet of their world you’ll love the full story.
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